A Meditation
on Meditation

It is in that space between thoughts where duality disappears.

Safely seated on my cushion or within the confines of my yoga mat and practice I have no need to safely navigate space. My eyes, a darwinian marvel, are superfluous. I don’t remember if I am stardust or mostly a sack of recycled dinosaur piss. I simply don’t care.

I am not the Universe.

I statements don’t apply.

And it feels great.

I could quote medical studies and pull up charts of brain center activation and neurochemical release, but that would be like trying to describe the taste of garlic. It still isn’t the taste of garlic.

If you have ever tasted garlic then you know what I am talking about.

If you haven’t?
You should try it.
It is good for you.

Same thing with doing nothing.
You should try it sometime.

But I am not gonna lie.
Doing nothing is hard.

There is a reason Angry Birds and Netflix are so popular. We hate doing nothing. Solitary confinement is considered cruel and unusual.
We will do just about anything to not be alone with our thoughts. That might even be the reason you are reading this right now.

Our big oversized brains cause neck pain and tension headaches, I often question the decision to walk upright, but they do have some advantages. They are pattern recognition machines. The processes that have evolved over the millennia are truly mind boggling. We have created a hallucination that represents the physical world within a sense organ. The words you see in front of you right now that seem so real and tangible are actually a series of neurochemical and electrical reactions. A photon hits a cone sending a signal down a dendrite to your visual cortex where this signal is recognized, activating the language center of your brain. A few billion activations later you probably hear a voice in your head right now as you read these words.

Does it sound like me or does it sound like you?

If you believe in evolution all of those amazing functions serve one simple purpose.
The survival of genetic code. The passing on of information. Survive and reproduce.

The thing our species does best is think. So we are constantly thinking like our lives depend on it. Our survival is at stake. We have to think of a solution. So not only do we have a simulacrum of the physical world being constantly created based on very limited sense organs, we also have a narrator. Not everyone’s is verbal but there is a secondary layer of opinion over the simulacrum we often mistake for reality. When walking traffic noise means there is a car nearby which also means danger. Do not walk into traffic. We have an aversion to walking into traffic,

hopefully. In fact this secondary layer of our perceived reality is littered with attachments and aversions. Mostly based on dopamine rewards which is how our body skews decisions towards survivability. It feels good to arrive safely at our destination, jaywalking is terrifying.

The Buddha says that this is the source of our suffering (Dukkha~bad empty).

Our suffering comes not from our perception of the physical world but from this secondary level or perception filled with attachments and aversions. Suffering comes from desire. To overcome suffering one must simply overcome desire (Sukkha~good empty). The path is the middle way.

A huge portion of our consciousness is also constantly making sure the contortions or our facial muscles are displaying appropriate affect because several thousand years ago knowing when someone was really pissed off increased our likelihood of survival.

But when I am seated on my cushion my feelings don’t matter. Or at least there is no need to try and portray them accurately. I can just let my face relax. This is also the secret to modeling and can reduce wrinkles. It's good to practice. I don’t have to decide whether to jaywalk or cross at the light. I don’t have to try and figure out the appropriate serving size for chocolate chip cookies. I know it isn’t 12, that was too many. But it can’t be 1, that just seems cruel.

Is it 2?

But when I can stop doing all that I often forget that I was sad, or pissed, or even happy.

For a few moments, on good days, I can just be.

No thoughts, no simulacrum, no attachments,

no aversions, no decisions, no judgements,

no suffering.

Just sensory awareness of the moment, the breath, and my body. I usually start humming. Have you ever tried chanting om? It is kind of like the taste of garlic. If you know then you know. If you don’t? You should try it.

Suffering is infinite, unending and inescapable. The first of the 4 Noble Truths is that life is suffering. While there is sentient life, there will be suffering. I have yet to meet a single human who hasn’t stubbed their toe. So as long as there are humans there will be stubbed toes. But it is not the unintentional impact of a small extremity with an unmovable object that actually causes the suffering. It is the neurochemical response. There is a flash of “pain”. The nociceptors that respond to crushing and tearing cascade telling the brain basically “don’t do that again”. But only if there is a lesson to be learned. Ever get a bump or bruise you didn’t even notice doing? The brain decided there was no behavior to correct so it didn’t even bother registering the “pain”. That rarely happens with stubbed toes. We are mad at our toe, the thing it hit, and ourselves. Really what is going on is the brain is programming itself to make this less likely to happen in the future. From the outside this often looks like yelling at inanimate objects.

In reality a stubbed toe isn’t really a big deal. Worst case scenario there is some blood to clean up and some minor first aid. Toes are designed to be broken often and heal just fine. Even if you wind up at the hospital all they can usually do is tape it to the one next to it. In fact the whole foot is designed to be broken and reformed based on use. Did you think your shoes actually changed shape once you “broke them in”. I did still need stitches one time though. If you can’t stop the bleeding it is best to go to the hospital… after pie if need be.

In meditation I am able to forget that secondary level of perception. Even pain becomes just another sensation, like sound or light. I can perceive it without judgment.

Except tooth pain.

I don’t know whether it is because it is life threatening or it is just so close to the brain with so many nerves but I can not overcome my aversion to tooth pain.

If I have seen the dentist recently and stop doing anything else I can find a place where suffering ceases. Over the years it has become easier to find. I get there faster and can stay longer with practice.

I am a special case. I love doing nothing. My first mental hospitalization was due to Katatonia. I was completely unresponsive. Nothing was distracting me from my meditation. I was deep. In fact I have struggled with being addicted to doing nothing. It is what led to my chronic homelessness. If you sit in Zazen long enough you eventually wind up in a pile of crap. The body does not stop processing after all.

I am firmly in the Meditation is Nothing club. This is a popular club. The tao that can be named is not the tao. Same thing with nothing. Most members of this club doubt you can get there in a single lifetime. I am not sure if it is a burst of light or a cloud of smoke but it is colorful once you get there and you basically cease to exist. The Buddha came back. So did Yeshua. Krishna never left but he’s there at the same time. We can practice getting closer to nothing in this lifetime but we can’t actually get there. But even that practice is something. Even if you are just sitting Zazen, that’s it, you are still sitting Zazen.

Try not to think of a white bear. Nope, don’t picture a polar bear. Not even the really cute CGI one from the holiday Coke commercials. I said don’t think of a white bear. This is known as Dostoevsky’s white bear. He came up with the thought experiment and you will probably think of white bear several more times now over the next few hours and days.

So trying to think about nothing is still thinking about something and next to impossible. Our brain has a hard time letting go of making assumptions based on far too little information. There are two types of people in the world: those that can make assumptions from incomplete data sets….

Our brain has to constantly fill in our blind spot and try to guess where that car noise is coming from for our very survival. So just telling it to stop isn’t going to work. I have found giving it something to do very helpful. In Yoga this is called Dharana, Focus or intention. By giving the mind a simple thing to focus on it is easier to control our thoughts.

Picture a bruin, a brown bear, catching fish in a river with a forest in the background. Lots of greens and browns, some blue sky and clear water. Now, try not to think of a white bear.

A little easier this time?

The executive function of the brain is the ability to inhibit stimuli. The ability to choose to focus on something is the only thing we really have any control over. I can’t control the weather or the stock market or I would be a billionaire living in a subtropical rainforest. Just one billion, I’m not greedy.

I can’t control the traffic or course cancellations. On a good day I can control the words that come out of my mouth somewhat more than the words that I don’t say out loud. But I can choose to focus on something, sometimes, or I can choose to ignore something, usually.

Free will is a delusion of the hallucination of our sense organs that we mistake for reality. It does not represent anything in the actual physical causal universe. But it sure feels like I get to choose what I watch on netflix when I am alone. One of the only true freedoms we have is what music or podcast to listen to. What we pay attention to is the only thing we truly are free to control and in the world of click bait and targeted ads it is quickly becoming currency.

In many ways meditation is just taking back that control. Practicing higher executive brain functioning. Choosing what we focus on instead of being distracted by clickbait like this article.

When I am “Doing Nothing” I am usually seated or lying down. I am breathing. My heart is beating. My rods and cones are reacting to light. The hairs in my ears are vibrating. Food is being digested. My Mitochondria are making more ATP. There is actually still a whole lot going on.

In Yoga I learned how to bring my pose, or asana, my body's configuration in space, into the front of my mind. Our sensory motor cortex has a proprioceptive map of our body in space. It is actually based on the tension and length of the muscles of each joint but we don’t realize that. We just know where our pinky toe is without looking at it.

But until I mentioned it you weren’t really thinking about it. Now that I am talking about it you are probably surprisingly aware of your pinky toe. Feel free to kick your shoes off, I’ll wait.

This is another example of that executive function. That proprioception is always there but we ignore it if we are stationary more often than not.

Sometimes even when we are not stationary, thus the plethora of stubbed toes in the universe. In yoga I choose to focus on this awareness of the body’s position in space. To observe it without judgment while also practicing proper postures and alignments to improve the body’s postures and alignments. Building on the practices of human bodies that came before mine learned through books and classes and the muscle memory of my own practice. With great focus and effort I practice these movement patterns and poses to make them effortless and mindless. Like the hamster looking for a half off haircut I realize this is gonna take forever. I will let you know when I get there. Don’t forget to breathe.

The body is also breathing. If I had to remember to beat my heart I’d be dead by now. Can you imagine if we had to consciously control contracting our intestine? But if my appendages start moving on their own I am probably going to freak out. This could be a life threatening seizure or simply restless leg syndrome, either way there is a pill for that and people have an aversion to it. Breathing is both. breathing is on a short list of things we can consciously control or forget about and it still happens.

This makes it ideal for something to choose to focus on and if you read a book on how to become an expert at anything, they will eventually get to the breath. The simplest form of breath work (pranayama~energy discipline) is to breathe to counts. X in X out. A metronome or approximate seconds work. Next level is pauses, X in pause, X out pause, X in. In those pauses you can sense your heartbeat and use those as your metronome to get even deeper. Getting a complete smooth breath in using all 3 parts of the lungs with the exhalation matching creating a tidal motion up and down the spine is usually the end goal. Then to keep that breathing pattern without thinking about it, adding nothing, taking nothing away, usually takes years of practice.

The members of the “meditation is nothing” club have spent years developing and maintaining an exercise and stretching routine just to be able to sit Zazen comfortably. They have spent years if not decades cultivating the practice of breathing but even they can not shut their ears.

Even in a coma you still hear. It is just a question of whether you remember it or not when you wake up. Even if you close your eyes some light still leaks through. Even in pitchblack our minds will try to create images. The rods and cones of our eyes and hairs in our ears will continue to create signals for weeks after the brain no longer hosts a consciousness to perceive them. If a tree falls in a graveyard it makes a sound. In a forest I hope it makes a sound. If there are no living things with ears and brains left in the forest we are all screwed.

We can not control our senses. They are our link to the physical causal world. They are what we use to form the hallucination in our sense organ that we mistake for reality. They have to be reactionary to the actual physical reality to function. If we choose to perceive traffic noise as a symphony it wouldn’t be as effective a deterrent to walking into traffic. There is a reason it is annoying. The problem with rose colored glasses is that red flags just look like flags. Who doesn’t love flags?

We can not turn our senses off but we can use our executive function to inhibit stimuli.

Imagine a rabbit and an elephant.

You either closed your eyes or looked up and to the left most likely. The amount of information going to your brain from your eyes was reduced. I usually lose detail and depth from my field of vision when I choose to imagine another image. You can also choose to listen to something and have the same effect. Ever turn down the radio to look for an address? We can turn the volume down so to speak on any specific stimuli with limited results.

What works even better is turning the volume all the way up.

I am going to actually quote a medical study to make this next point.

But don’t worry, I am pretty sure my teacher made it up as I was never able to google it.

In this thought experiment they are trying to study pain tolerance using the ice bucket challenge. Since animal cruelty is still allowed if the animal is human they have added salt to the ice buckets. The test is they tell someone to stick their hand in the sub freezing slosh. If they actually do it they measure how long their hand was in the bucket before they come to their senses and take their hand out because it hurts.

The population sample was people stupid enough to put their hands in freezing buckets for a few bucks or some extra credit points. They asked them if they had any form of meditative training: Yoga, martial arts, meditation practice et al. Those without a practice tended to remove their hands much quicker. It takes a few seconds for the brain to realize just how stupid this behavior is and trigger the “don’t do that” response, pain. After a few seconds the nociceptors that react to change in temperature realize this sudden change is enough to cause damage if it continues. At that point it doesn’t bother differentiating between cold and hot because it doesn’t matter. It burns and any rational human would remove their hand at that point.

Those without any sort of meditative training usually removed their hands in the first few seconds.

Some people chose to leave their hands in longer for some reason, probably toxic masculinity.

Those with meditative training tended to leave their hands in longer than those without any sort of training. Which makes me question whether the practice truly is beneficial to survival. Some held it in for just a few seconds longer, some almost 30 seconds, then there was a third spike of people who had to be told to remove their hands before any damage actually occurred.

Those who held it in slightly longer than the rational people reported trying to ignore it. To turn the volume down. They used their executive function to try and inhibit stimuli. Those that held it in even longer tried to transmute it. They decided they had an attachment to it, not an aversion. That it felt good. That worked for a while but eventually failed too. Those that held it in the longest didn’t ignore it or try to change it. They simply focused on it. They acknowledged the sensation without trying to do anything with it. Since it was commanding their attention they chose to focus on it, hence no suffering, just senstation. It is actually fascinating how you really can’t tell if it is cold or hot.

So Pratyahara (Mastery of Senses) is not a withdrawal from the senses so much as a diving in so deeply we can no longer distinguish down.

If a tree falls in a forest it shakes the air. If that wave formation of compressed air molecules enters an ear and sends a signal to a sentient being's mind it becomes sound. If we hear speech it activates speech processors and creates images in your mind.

Google “giraffe pimp meme” for further details. But words are just vibrations of air. We have two signals. A left ear and a right ear. From the pressure wave difference our mind creates a 3 dimensional soundscape. The music is coming from over there, the person speaking is right in front of me, the traffic noise in the background is annoying. In reality we are just perceiving two signals related to the air pressure around us. They say when the 2 ears become one enlightenment has been reached.

If you have ever meditated or done yoga in a park you may be familiar with the rhythm of the city. If you are far enough from the road to reduce your likelihood of death the traffic noise often becomes less annoying. In fact the pacing of lights and schedules and rush hours has a bit of pattern to it. On good days, when the weather is right, it does start to sound like music, even the train horns can sound like angels singing when they reverberate off the mountains and across the valley.

But most days I am just annoyed by the garbage truck.

So I just listen to the garbage truck until it passes. There is a reason traffic noise is annoying, our survival depends on it. Early in my practice I was annoyed. Not so much at the garbage truck. “Oh good, the trash is being picked up” or “Oh crap I forgot to put the bin out”. The garbage truck sound is not my favorite sound but the soundproof curtains help. It is not really that bad of a sound unless you are right next to it running out hollering for them to stop as you drag a trash bin behind you. Another sound I am not the hugest fan of. The suffering was not from the sound, it was not even the annoyance of the sound. My suffering was coming from being annoyed at being annoyed. I was distracted by being annoyed at being distracted. Thankfully I came to my senses and got over that.

If the garbage truck is having a solo in the symphony of the city I simply listen. It is like being at an art gallery. You don’t have to like the art, but if you are there, you might as well take it in, observe it. The longest drum solo I have ever heard was still over in 10 minutes. Not long in the grand scheme of the universe. The garbage truck is usually gone before my meditation is over.

So between the configuration of my pinky toe, the living marvel of converting rocket fuel into ATP that is breath, and the symphony of the city there is not a lot of room left in my brain for anything else. If any thoughts do arise I treat them like the garbage truck solo, acknowledge and observe then simply let them pass.

And that is just sound, don’t even get me started on the accelerometer in your inner ear. There are 99 senses or I can choose just one.

So when I am doing “nothing” the description may be accurate objectively. From the outside it looks like I am just sitting there breathing.

On the inside I have balanced the force of gravity of a giant wet rock hurtling through space against the force created by converting ATP to ADP through a network of joints and muscles powered by the breathe that is creating a tidal motion up and down my spine helping to circulate my spinal fluid, lymph and blood which is also assisted by a heart with a rhythm and pulse I can feel and hear as well as music or just the sounds of the city. The smell and taste of my own breath, the humidity and heat of the air around me, the touch of my clothes and sounds of my movement and breathing.

And if there is any room left and my mind starts to wander I choose what I want to think about for that session. My intention or focus or dharana.

So even when I am doing nothing I am still practicing:

Asana (pose) ,

pranayama (breath) and

Pratyahara (senses).

Most forms of Meditation are simply a

Dharana (focus).

In our normal waking life we are distracted. We are having multiple thoughts at the same time.
It is illegal to text and drive and even talking on the phone while driving is illegal in some states.
Yet we are constantly trying to multitask and even I have music on in the background while I write this.

Meditation is choosing to focus on one thing because it is better than 12 things. Studies that I am not actually going to google have shown that multitasking is just fast switching and horribly inefficient. Focusing on one task and doing it well is more efficient and just feels better for my brain.

So if I had to define meditation I would quote Jon Kabbat-Zinn and call it a laser like focus.

Since you can’t actually focus on nothing, focusing on one thing gets you closer. Then if the weather is right and you back away slowly you just might find yourself thinking about nothing.

The way I teach meditation is to remind my students that they have a body in space. Isn’t that amazing? You control it with your mind. Telekinesis. It is breathing. Don’t forget to breathe. That part is really important. It has sensors that give you an approximation of yourself and your surroundings. What you do with that information is up to you. Anything beyond that is a choice. Hopefully a conscious one.

Most forms of meditation can be defined as focusing on something. You may be focused on a deity when praying or practicing Bhakti yoga. One of the most common forms of meditation is to focus on a specific feeling, often using a Mantra or phrase. The most well known Mantra is Om Mana Padme hum. May the Jewel of my heart's desire be firmly seated in the lotus or may I be free from all attachment or aversion. In my opinion Buhdists are awfully attached to non-attachment. What’s with the aversion to aversions? Seeking enlightenment is a bit of an oxymoron.

But you don’t have to chant the sacred syllable Om or sit Zazen. You just have to focus or at least try to focus. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my half lotus with cushions is comfy, and if you have never Omed you should try it, but it isn’t the only way to meditate. Focusing on the body, breath and senses does lend itself to the stillness between thoughts but it isn’t the only way to get there.

Guided Visualizations are one of the most popular forms of meditation. “Imagine you are on a beach” I am totally ignoring my actual senses in order to imagine the scene they are describing. It is the total opposite of present moment awareness or mindfulness yet they both fall firmly in the meditation category.

It turns out what you focus on isn’t nearly as important as just focusing. It is like exercise, how you move is not nearly as important as just moving. Get up right now, you can read this on the treadmill. No treadmill? Ever just do a set of unweighted squats cause it makes your back pain go away? No? Just me? You should really try it. Yes right now.

So you can focus on the present moment or just be daydreaming and it still counts as meditation. In fact, if you say it is meditation, then it is meditation. You have made the decision to focus. To think about thinking. In normal mode we use the mind to understand the world, in meditation we use the world to understand the mind.

This is why I think it is so funny when people say they “tried” to meditate. Either you did or you didn’t, there is no try. If time was spent attempting to meditate then you meditated. You spent time trying to focus, practicing. Maybe it wasn’t what you were expecting or you found yourself very distracted or anxious during your meditation.

Unless you suddenly found yourself washing dishes with no memory of how you got there I would say you successfully meditated. Even if you did find yourself folding laundry instead of meditating I still would say you meditated, just maybe not for as long as you had planned to.

So anything can be a meditation. If we choose to focus on just that one thing and use the practice to affect the actual practice of thinking itself. Meditation is more than just thinking about thinking it is learning how to affect our thought process itself through conscious control. In this way, since everything else we do in life requires some level of thought, it can make you better at everything else in life.

So sitting and breathing is one way to meditate but you don’t have to be still. Yoga is pretty widely recognized as a form of meditation but walking can also be meditative. Going for a walk is good for both mind and body. If done with company it lends itself to quality time and good conversations. If done alone it can be a great way to check in with your thoughts. Walking is pretty mindless, our spine is actually controlling more of the motion than our brains. For most of us, past a certain age, before a certain age, walking doesn’t take a lot of conscious thought but it is still doing something. Doing something that is really truly nothing is one way to describe meditation and part of a great song by 311.

Adult coloring books are gaining in popularity. Studies have shown (I think) that 40 minutes of continuous creative activity does great things for your blood pressure and cortisol. The physiological effects are similar to meditation. So you can focus on your candle and incense or just the color blue. Coloring, sewing, needlepoint, crocheting and knitting can all be meditations.
So can drawing, painting, singing, dancing, or even just busting out some scales on your favorite musical instrument. Pretty much any hobby can be considered meditation.

I am not a runner, running is not a form of meditation for me, but if you ask any avid runner what is going on in their head during a long run the description sounds suspiciously similar to meditation. Pick up basketball may not be the first thing you think of as meditation but if you ask the kid shooting hoops and running drills alone in the park at night to clear his head you might change your mind. It used to be called being in the zone, now they call it flow state, but sports psychologists make a ton of money helping professional athletes meditate through their performances. As a kid we choose to start a pick up game because it is fun. It gives us something to focus on that produces an altered state of consciousness. We may not realize we are meditating but from the most laid back to the most demanding and stressful, sports can definitely be considered meditation.

Some people listen to music while they meditate. This helps drown out the symphony of the city and any noisy neighbors allowing us to focus on the music or whatever else we so choose. Listening to a guided meditation is obviously meditation but just listening to music or even playing it can be meditative too. Not a lot else going on in my mind while I was trotting across a football field carrying a tuba, let alone trying to play the thing at the same time.

I have not driven since the Mayan Apocalypse. One of the main reasons is that I am unable to maintain a meditative mindset and operate a motor vehicle at the same time and I choose the former. I have been able to meditate while snowboarding or biking though. They have many similarities to driving so I imagine it must be possible. In fact many people find going for a drive to be calming and help them collect their thoughts. The aimless night time drive listening to music can also be a form of meditation. Rush hour traffic can also be a great time to practice non attachment. “I will get there when I get there”. Or even loving kindness (Ahimsa) “By all means, you go first. May you arrive at your destination safely” is going to make you feel a whole lot better than laying into your horn when someone cuts you off. So while it may not be meditative for me, driving can even be a form of meditation.

Watching a meditation video is obviously meditation but what about a nature video? Perhaps narrated by the legendary Attenberg himself? You chose to focus on this one thing, most likely to help you relax or destress. You chose to focus on something to affect your consciousness. I think it can be meditation if you decide it is. Again it is using that executive function to choose to focus on something for a desired effect on our mental state. That sounds a lot like meditation to me. In my opinion most screen time is a form of meditation. 20 minutes of continuous viewing lowers your metabolism to a state slower than sleep (or so I’ve heard). It is just a question of how conscious the decision was and what you are watching. A ted talk is probably going to be more meditative than a football game but they will both hold your attention and affect your mind and mood.

Some people use gaming as a way to turn their brains off or decompress from the day.
First person shooters aren’t going to reinforce ahimsa (loving kindness) but at least you're not thinking about your X. Not all video game playing is meditative but depending on the game it definitely can be. I play chess against the computer with the AI dumbed down enough that I always win. I don’t consider it meditation but it does clear my mind and help me focus and get back to whatever I was doing faster than walking in circles around my room. At least I am at my desk even if I am not writing. After a few games I have forgotten whatever was distracting me and can get back to work refreshed and refocused.

I guess even Angry Birds or Netflix can be considered meditation. It is just a choice to intentionally focus on something for a period of time. That something can be anything. We are constantly thinking, meditation is the practice of bringing awareness to this fact, to practice thinking itself. If you say it is meditation then it is meditation, and even if you say it isn’t it still might be.

Since Meditation can be anything, why not make everything a meditation?

Most cosmogenesis stories involve some sort of intention, concentration or focus. God said let there be light, in the beginning there was logos or Vishnu's dream beginning with the Brahma bull pronouncing the sacred syllable Om. The vibration of that sound reverberates to this day creating the energy condensed to a slow vibration that we call the observable universe. One of the latest theories in quantum physics is that gravity collapses the waveform of potentialities into the single thread of the multiverse we know of as the Universe. The mass of a particle distorts time space in a way that affects every other particle in its vicinity. In a way Gravity can be described as an observation. The moon circles the earth because it “knows” it is there. But gravity takes two particles. A single particle may have a gravitational pull but this pull does nothing, has no effect, unless another particle is involved. As soon as there are two particles observing each other the gravity collapses their respective potential states into one single shared reality.

If a particle decays in a vacuum does it matter? Ask Shrodingers cat.

So in a way the solid singular casual universe we observe is being held together by a constant persistent all encompassing present moment awareness being practiced by every particle in the observable universe. In other words the observable universe is created and maintained by observation.

So when I say that meditation is everything, literally….

This idea that observation creates reality carries over into the immaterial realm as well. Descartes gave us the famous “Cogito Ergo Sum”. Thinking denotes existence, I think, therefore I am. While this may be true on the metaphysical level it is far from instinctual or a priori. It does not seem to represent my subjective experience of existence. Modern cognitive science points more towards “you think, therefore I am”. If I never encountered another sentient being in my entire life I would not have a name for example. Or even language. It is this simultaneous observation and being observed that creates our sense of self as well as the simulacrum, the hallucination we mistake for reality.

The meditation is everything club is almost as popular as the meditation is nothing club. Tantra is a branch of Yoga in which practitioners try to make as much of their life a meditation as possible. They way they get dressed, the way they make their rice, the way they brush their teeth, even the naughty bits. Most of us brush our teeth the same way each day. It is efficient and effective and we don’t have to think about it. It saves time and brainpower. In Tantra they try to make everything they do in life as effortless and mindless as brushing their teeth. In this way they free up a lot of processing power to focus on whatever they so choose. Raising vibrations or lowering vibrations are the most common but there are many schools and colors of tantra depending on your lifestyle. I find it humorous that most schools of Tantra recommend celibacy despite what the practice is best known for.

Most Buddhist also share similar beliefs. Mahayana, the great vehicle, is nothing. It is in this emptiness of nothing that you are filled and become everything. As a drop of water becomes the ocean. Unlike most members of the meditation is nothing club, Mahayanna Budhist believe you can get there in just one lifetime. Once you have found the place where there is no attachment and no aversion there is no more suffering. Try and stay there for as long as possible. If you can stay there permanently, that is basically nirvana, you have achieved enlightenment. Now come back and help everyone else escape suffering, the bodhisattva. If you can stay there and help people at the same time then you are a Buhda. Or something like that. The rules vary from tradition to tradition but for enough gold in some areas you can get certified as the reincarnation of your former self. Apparently Jesus is some middle aged white dude from Ohio this time around.

Both the practice of Tantra and the path of the Bodhisattva are hard to maintain in the city.
You may get to the place of peace where loving kindness is flowing in and out in perfect harmony at the Ashram but can you maintain it in the traffic jam on the way home? If you are a sandwich artist it would be hard to memorize all 50+ sandwich combos they have at Subway and make them all without thought. I mean how often do people really order the Tuna Melt? No Onions? There is almost an infinite combination of toppings all of which require language and communication. Tantra is definitely easier if we all just eat rice. The only way most people can achieve a constant state of meditation is to withdraw from society. The hermit in the cave, the monk in their cloister, the week long vipassana retreat or even the weird commune down in Texas. In these controlled and isolated environments we can achieve a single pointed focus of the mind and they can be amazing and transformative experiences.

But what is the point? Seems kind of selfish. It is like a particle decaying in a vacuum. If there is no box, no cat, no switch does it even matter? If there are no other particles to observe its gravity does it still have Higgs Bosons? Does it still have mass? If there are no other relativistic points to measure from does it have velocity or direction? Does it even exist if it is never observed?

If a tree falls do not gather it for firewood, let it rot in place and make a home for the biome.
If you really need to use it for something, look up hugelkultur.

Leave no trace, where that is impossible leave it better than you found it. I learned this concept in the process of researching “BackPacking” or “Through hiking”. As a sentient being who was chronically homeless I was trying up my XP and gear for the next side quest. It also was a great way for my mind to understand the way of the bodhisattva. Since I have found this path to the cessation of suffering I have a duty or responsibility to reduce suffering. It would be unethical not to use this tool to reduce my own suffering. To ignore these teachings is to increase the suffering in the universe. Almost universally accepted as the definition of immoral. To allow my actions to cause the suffering of others where preventing it was possible would also be evil. To not share this path with others who are suffering and seeking a cessation to suffering would be wrong. But only if they so choose as to force these teachings and the inherent responsibilities onto another sentient being would also be unfair.

So if I encounter another sentient being I do no harm first and foremost.
If it is within my ability to ease their suffering without causing my own I do so.
If I caught enough fish and they are hungry I give them one. If they want to learn I teach them.

Leave no trace, or, make it better.

Sitting Zazen is great. Rather easy to leave no trace. There are many paths which lead to the withdrawal from society. In deep meditation the need for sleep, food, and even water is reduced. Some even claim to be able to survive on air and sunshine alone, Breatharians. But these guys don’t look like The Rock. They do eventually become emaciated. As they get deeper and deeper into meditation the heartbeat and breathing slow to almost imperceptible levels. There are preserved bodies of monks who are said to still be in meditation after 100’s of years….

I don’t know about you but that sounds an awful lot like that into the wild guy. The exit is this way. In hindsight I see why my family was so worried when I got really into backpacking. Sure, you can burn through a lot of Karma that way, almost guaranteeing the last dream of the long nap will be a good one. What a way to go. It just seems rather selfish. You are reducing the suffering of one sentient being, there are still a lot of stubbed toes in the universe, maybe make a few pairs of shoes before you go. The swine principle of utilitarianism is that whatever maximizes pleasure while minimizing suffering for the most sentient beings for the longest duration of time is the right thing to do. So the way of the bodhisattva is to devote oneself to the service of others. Avoid drug running and arms dealing, try to find: right word, right speech, right thought, right occupation etc. To use their intention, their executive function, their ability to decide what to focus on, to reduce the suffering in the universe, starting with themselves.

“Please affix your own oxygen mask before helping others.”

Which usually goes something like:

“Help help, I am all wet!”
“You are in a pool.”
“I can’t figure out how to dry off!”
“Have you tried getting out of the pool?”
“Do you have a towel?”

(Do I lie about the towel to get them out of the pool or just go about my day)

“Yes, there is a towel… somewhere… in theory…
with great lighting and music…
All your friends and family are there waiting for you too.”

Meditation is a tool. The word Mantra literally translates to Mind Tool. The word yoke, what you put on an ox to pull a cart, derives from the sanskrit word yoga. The suffering Sidartha spoke of was called dukkha, bad empty. A term used to describe a poorly made wagon wheel. The hub, the hole in the center is uneven, it will be a rough ride. It will be more likely to break and tire the horse. It should be replaced with a wheel with sukkha. Good empty, good hub, good hole. The point is the driver, the horse and the cart. The cargo, the journey, the hole is just how we get there.

I feel that many practitioners get stuck at the third truth. Myself included. Stubbed toes convinced me of the first noble truth. Suffering is inevitable. It is the human infinite capacity for suffering that is our super power. No other sentient being came up with shoes. We decided our feet hurt and strapped something to them. It is our attachment and aversions that have driven every achievement in the arts and sciences as well. I am glad we have an attachment to beauty, wonder and knowledge. There is no judgment in this statement, this is not a hellscape of never ending unceasing torture, just remember, while there are bipedal sentient beings, there will be stubbed toes. Suffering does indeed come from attachment and desire (dukkha) and overcoming suffering, while not easy, is as simple as overcoming desire (sukkha).

But they get stuck there. Spiritual bypassing is a way of avoiding your feelings that can be as unhealthy as bottling them up. I have no attachment to my grandmother so I feel no sorrow when she gets ran over by a reindeer. Screw that, weep and wail and give Santa a piece of your mind. The stoics say not to cry over spilt milk because the milk was never really yours to begin with anyway. But that is not actually what the Buddha taught.

The 4th noble truth was that the path is the middle way. Somewhere between dukkha and sukkha our dharma is found. Our role, our path, the part we play while we are on this stage, our lines, our entrance and our exit, stage left.

If your suffering is unbearable there is a path out of it. If it is preventing you from performing your dharma, here is how to escape it. Let’s get that toe stitched up and taped to the one next to it so you can get back to your through hike. The first traces of society are healed femurs. Some early hominid was able to survive a broken leg and continue on with life. I sure hope a stubbed toe doesn’t leave you permanently bedridden but feel free to rest it for a few days.

Ever try a week-long vipassana retreat?

If your ego is causing your suffering, which if you are human living in society it probably is, try ego death. No more suffering. It is quite easy to convince someone they are insane. Are you hearing voices in your head right now? Does it sound like me or does it sound like you? What do you mean you are just reading? If you had never met another sentient being would you have a name? Speak a language? Would you bother writing things down so you could read them later?

The sense of self we have is clearly a delusion. We see only a fraction of the spectrum of light and use it to create a hallucination within our minds which represents the shared space of the observable universe but it is an utter delusion. “Solid Matter” is mostly empty space. The solid surface you feel is created by pain receptors the body has developed to avoid being crushed to death registering slight crushing. It is actually caused by electromagnetic repulsion of the molecules of your hand and the object and the only real difference between those molecules is structure. We are mostly sacs of water, recycled dinosaur piss and stardust, the biome without our DNA in that sac outnumber cells with our DNA too. Any sense of self distinct from the universe is obviously delusional. There is no in here or out there, no self and other, the universe is, just be.

If you stop there it can be a beautiful existential fog. The colors man, do you even understand!?. If you finish the book though, you eventually find the chapter that admits to lying about the towel.

Of course you have an ego, true ego death is suicide, it is just a matter of pace. You are a sentient being with its own unique perspective. Your own personal simulacrum, the hallucination within your brain contains a whole universe that you are the center of. The universe experiencing itself subjectively. You have an entrance, an exit and lines to say while you are on stage. Your time in existence may be a brief blink of some universal eye but it is all the time you will ever know as this sentient being. To deny your own existence is just as insane and delusional as believing in the egocentric hallucinated simulacrum. The truth is somewhere between these two extremes. The path is the middle way.

In yoga we talk about taking the practice off of the mat. Applying the skills we develop on the mat to the rest of life. Proper posture, breathing and core engagement goes a long way towards preventing the back damage done by chairs. Single minded focus, mastered breath, and proper form will allow you to master just about anything. It only takes 10,000 hours. Yes I am biased as a yoga instructor but I am fully convinced that yoga makes you better at everything else in life.

In meditation we talk about taking these skills off the cushion. This single minded focus can boost your productivity at work and get you a raise or raise your GPA as you will test better. Meditation also makes you better at everything else in life (but not as much as yoga).

One of the pitfalls of meditation is everything is you might not notice you stopped meditating.
Many times in my life I have exercised and stretched when I felt like it and eaten what I wanted when I was hungry and maintained a healthy weight and body fat. But life happens. Most recently it was a pandemic. We get thrown out of our routine, someone wants no onions on their tuna melt. It is not easy to just throw the switch and get back there.

So I remind myself how I got there in the first place. Through discovery, sporadic practice, a more regular routine, habitual ritualistic practice, which eventually became effortless, just another part of the experience of being human, another sensation.

So even if you do find yourself strolling through Nirvana effortlessly I still recommend a regular formal practice, with a defined beginning and end. It can help with resiliency while you are corporeal in this lifetime and can help you to find that middle way. It is ok to have an opinion. Mine is that it is OK to be attached to watching beautiful sunsets. I highly advise watching one in the next 24 hours. You never know which one will be your last.

Go for a hike, watch a sunset, write a book, get in a fight, yell cause you are angry then belly laugh even louder. Go and experience life. The point of the time on the cushion is not the time on the cushion. It is how it affects our experience of the rest of our lives.

If you are still yelling after a few minutes you will get hoarse. This is obviously not an effective form of communication. Perhaps take a moment to realize why you are afraid or suffering, which is all anger really is, and use the tools of the practice to lower heart rate and respiration.

Perhaps even engaging the parasympathetic nervous system to lower adrenaline and muscle tension. But then you must summon up the ego again. You must address whatever attachment or aversion led to your heightened volume. Then you must find a way to communicate what these feelings are without yelling. If no compromise can be reached then distance in time and space is sometimes the only solution.

But that solution will never be reached if you don’t get off the cushion. If you keep returning to the practice as a crutch you can exacerbate toxic cycles of behavior. If you never get off the cushion you will wind up in a mess. Dishes don’t wash themselves, laundry doesn’t do itself and clothes eventually deteriorate into rags if you wear them long enough. Dust settles and dirt accumulates.